Have some fun at work.

Sometimes when I have to speak to someone at work, I’ll walk up to them pretending to be on my cell phone. Then I will say one of the following, and quickly end the fake phone call. Then I jump right into whatever business I have with them.

…Look I know narcolepsy is a disease, but if you’re going to be proctologist…
…I’m just saying, when I look in the bowl I don’t want to see purple!
…Yeah well, it wasn’t my nose she was concerned with!
…It may not be as long, but at least it’s level.
…No they didn’t serve sushi, and spicy tuna roll meant something completely different.
…Well, she figured if her phone can be set to vibrate then her… …Yeah, to ring!
…Yeah, we both agreed, only for salads.
…and we both agreed, what happens at Chuck-E-Cheese stays at Chuck-E-Cheese.
…Carrots are one thing, but I’ve gotta sit most of the day, ya know!
…Look, my mouth is my mouth but… …Yeah, yeah, I gotta go.
…Look, a fever is a fever, but there’s only one way you’re taking my temperature.
…Yeah, I was in the Boy Scouts… Father who? No, I didn’t go to church.
…I don’t care what kind they are, I’m not into beads!
…Yeah, I know when in Rome, but that shit’s Greek!
…before that I thought ‘balls to the walls’ was just a saying.
…more than a pine, she was a noble fir if you know what I mean.